Although it seems more popular than ever, the word “vibe” has been part of contemporary vernacular for as long as I can remember. It’s a word I’ve often used in my hotel industry seminars, training articles and presentations. Recently, while doing research for a groundbreaking new hospitality training course, I decided to dig deeper into this concept and was surprised to learn there was actual science behind the concept of hospitality vibes.
Most often, the word “vibes” unseriously refers to intangible, possibly imaginary, aspects of non-verbal interpersonal communications. At best, it is thought of this as being a “new age,” spiritual thing. Before the word “vibe” became so popular, the same concept was often referred to as “energy.” For example, people would say “I just LOVE his energy,” or “She has SUCH good energy!” Now people may say, “I get such good vibes from them,” or “They have such positive vibes.”
As it turns out, the fields of psychology and medicine have converged to offer new insights into how the communication of “energy” and “vibes” is actually powered by the heart and conveyed to the brain by the vagus nerve.
One source I discovered was the work of the HeartMath Institute. According to their “Science of the Heart” post, “The heart is the most powerful source of electromagnetic energy in the human body, producing the largest rhythmic electromagnetic field of any of the body’s organs. The heart’s electrical field is about 60 times greater in amplitude than the electrical activity generated by the brain.”
Well, that may not be big news to anyone who has ever had an EKG test, when you see them putting electrodes all over your body to measure heart function. The bigger news is that HeartMath reports finding a direct relationship between heart-rhythm patterns and the information encoded in the magnetic field radiated by the heart.
“Evidence now supports the perspective that a subtle yet influential electromagnetic or ‘energetic’ communication system operates just below our conscious level of awareness,” says HeartMath.
To me, that sounds a lot like what happens when two people share good (or bad) vibes!
What this emerging research tells me is that it’s time to update our approach to hospitality training. From what I see in working with more than 50 hotels each year, most so-called “hospitality” training is really focused on “guest service communications,” such as eye contact, facial expressions and tone of voice, along with a huge focus on the specific use of words and phrases, which may feel unspontaneous and insincere.
Meanwhile, for me, this evidence reminds us that authentic hospitality connections are initiated by spontaneous heartfelt interactions, not the conveyed by brain-centric conformance to standards.
Surely, luxury hotel standards are important, as they help our staff communicate in a way that is both elegant and eloquent. But bespoke hospitality is about more than words and gestures.
Having worked with the public since I started as a clerk in my mom’s craft supply shop at age 9, and later in hotels, starting at a hotel at age 20, my first reaction to all this research is to self-exclaim “Duh!”
We have also had the experience of walking in to work in a good mood and later reflecting that we met so many nice people that day. Alternatively, we all have memories of coming to work when we are stressed or sad, and feeling like every difficult guest somehow seeks us out.
Plus, as anyone who has stood behind a counter or answered calls for a business knows, customers give off their own vibes. Some guests immediately light up the room while others seem to suck out our life-energy like a black hole in the universe.
Author David Brooks, whose book “How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen” inspired my research, calls these two groups illuminators and diminishers. According to Brooks, illuminators are curious about others, eager to ask questions and open-minded enough to understand. They are a joy to be around. They make others feel respected and better about themselves. Diminishers, on the other hand, quickly size-up others and cast negative judgments. They are too self-centered to even try to empathize. They believe they are always right. Their biggest talent is making others feel insignificant.
“So,” my readers may ask right now, “what does all this have to do with hospitality training?”
For me, the answer is everything! Many training programs refer to hospitality from the heart these days, but the actual content is really just about guest service. It’s time for us as an industry to provide training experiences that help frontline staff develop and grow as humans, versus only preaching “service standards.”
Training that legitimizes the concept of “vibes” and shares evidence that the vibes we generate within ourselves have a real and measurable impact on the emotions of others. It can only make our colleagues better at delivering authentic experiences. These concepts also emphasize the importance of nurturing a work-life culture that fosters kindness, understanding and caring.
As Brooks says, emotional skills such as empathy and caring are “…a bit like athletic skills: Some people are more naturally talented at empathy than others, but everybody improves with training.”
It’s time to step up our game as leaders and mentors. That’s why I’ve been locked in an office for over 50 hours now obsessing on this research. I encourage you to check out the sources listed and do your own AI-powered research to see what you can learn as well. Oh, and stay tuned here as I will be sharing more content from our new program that is simply entitled, “Hospitality, IS…”
Doug Kennedy is president of the Kennedy Training Network, Inc. Contact him at doug@kennedytrainingnetwork.com.
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