The word “epic” has found its place in the vernacular of our daily lives. It’s the name of so many “epic” things, such as an Orlando theme park, an international ski pass, a company that produces popular video games and another providing digital access to children’s books. What’s more, it has arguably one of the most popular descriptive words used by younger generations as an adjective, adverb and noun.
Recently, it occurred to me that the word "epic” would make an epic acronym for a hospitality training program, so I decided to create one. Here are highlights.
E is for empathy
I’m often asked, “Doug, don’t you think you have to hire people with hospitality personalities? They either have it or they don’t, right?” While it is true that some humans have exceptionally high emotional intelligence, and some have almost none, I do believe that we can nurture and grow our empathy. To “grow” empathy, continuously encourage staff to imagine the wide spectrum of uniquely personal experiences playing out on the other side of the desk, bar, phone conversation, counter or email exchange. Understanding fosters empathy. Although the term empathy is most often used in service recovery training, encourage staff to also think about the momentous, happy moments guests are experiencing.
Presence
Being genuinely present while sharing space and time has always been a challenge, but with the “TikTokization” of our brains, it’s even harder. A meme I recently encountered said it best: “Remember when the phone was attached to the wall and people were free?” It’s so hard to ignore the constant beeping or vibration in our pockets. We fight to be present with guests and co-workers, but also with our loved ones and family.
When I go jogging in our neighborhood, I feel sorry for dogs walked by owners who are doom scrolling or yakking instead of being present with their puppies. I feel bad for babies in carriages being pushed by parents watching six-second videos instead of interacting as they discover their new world, and even more so for the toddlers whose parents have plugged them into their own devices.
We instinctively recognize when another human is being fully present with us. When I travel to so-called “poorer” countries where people are rich with happiness, I truly feel their presence when engaging them on the streets or in the markets.
Being present is not easy but also not complicated: Just be silent and listen. How ironic it is that these two words comprise the same letters.
At KTN, we teach a skill called “Loop-it-back Listening.” When a guest makes a comment or remark, rather than rushing a response such as “very good,” just pause for a moment and loop-back what they just said, then be silent. That’s when they share the full story, making it easier to connect.
Here are some examples:
Staff: So what brings you to the hotel?
Guest one: Oh, just a vacation.
Staff: Well, vacations are always fun.
Guest one: Well, actually it’s our last trip with our daughter before she goes off to the military this fall.
Staff: What brings you to the hotel?
Guest two: Just here for a few days on business.
Staff: I hope you have at least a little free time during your stay.
Guest two: Well, actually my old roommate from college lives nearby, so I’m staying an extra day to catch up with her.
Intuition
Sometimes guests don’t know the right questions to ask. Others are just not very good at explaining themselves. Intuition allows us to be attentive to guests’ needs, even when they are not stated or expressed. Intuition allows us to do something way more important than handing over a bottle of cold water on a hot day; it allows us to “read” the guest’s emotions as well as physical needs. Being intuitive seems to be a biproduct of being fully present, allowing us to pay attention to non-verbal clues like body language and facial expressions. Just as we build stronger muscles by focusing on repetitive exercises, likewise when we focus on being truly present and attentive to nonverbals, we can build our intuitive strength.
Connection
As I travel the world, I realize we are more alike than different. Sincere connections can start with conversations about the most basic shared experiences like the weather, food, time of day or day of week. There are so many other easy ways to foster human connections, so long as they are used sincerely and not in a scripted, robotic manner.
- Commenting on or asking a question about where someone is from, such as saying “I’ve never been there,” or asking a question “How do you like living there?”
- Greeting the children and the elderly in the party. “Hi baby! What’s your name?”
- Commenting on the sports team logo on their hat or tee shirt. “Ah, Steelers! I’m actually a Ravens fan, but I won’t hold that against you!”
- Complimenting a ring or an interesting piece of jewelry.
Sociologists and behavioral scientists have done extensive research on the positive impact of prosociality, which according to Google AI refers to behaviors intended to benefit others, like assisting, connecting, welcoming and comforting. What they found was that those who initiate prosocial actions typically underestimate the significant, positive responses of recipients. Initiators tend to feel it is the actual phrasing or delivery of their prosocial action, whereas those experiencing the actions notice more so the authentic, heartfelt feelings conveyed. To make stronger and better connections, use your intuition to recognize the reactions others are having when you focus on being fully present while showing empathy — basically using the EPIC acronym components backwards.
Unfortunately, hospitality leaders have historically referred to training on these concepts as “soft skills,” which are all too often undervalued when compared to “hard skills” training on systems, standards, processes and procedures. To me, the word “soft” has an underlying message of “less important.”
Maybe a better term for “soft skills” training on concepts such as EPIC is “heart skills” training. In fact, EPIC hospitality training prevents “heart failure,” which is the leading cause of lost business, while at the same time being foundational to creating memorable guest experiences. Best of all, providing EPIC hospitality experiences ensures that we all have a lot more fun in our work-lives, and for those who take these “heart skills” outside of the building, we become happier humans.
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