My view on this matter is far from unique, but I’ve never understood the notion or attractiveness of reality TV, which includes the new rash of fly-on-the-wall documentaries.
First, most of this genre is not in the remotest manner real. It never can be when TV cameras are in hot pursuit.
Several recent efforts have top-end hotels as their subjects. The first was a year in the life of Claridge’s in the Mayfair district of London.
Why not? It is certainly glamorous, genteel, stately and exciting.
The three-part warts-and-all (in truth, there were no warts) was so successful, it is enjoying a repeat broadcast in the United Kingdom—but this time just as a “real,” really real, real-life drama is unfolding on property. The owner, Maybourne Hotel Group (which also owns the equally luxurious The Berkeley and The Connaught), ignored a £1.5-billion ($2.2-billion) bid from the Abu Dhabi Investment Authority.
Now, that is something I really want to watch.
Do not hold your breath. According to sources, the offer lapsed on 9 March due to disagreements between the group’s key stakeholders, Sir Frederick and Sir David Barclay on one side and Paddy McKillen on the other.
Apparently, events unfurled between the partners in a way that would probably never occur in the wildest imaginings of reality TV producers—much along the lines of that old adage, “They could never make this stuff up.”
In 2011, the billionaire Barclay brothers sought to wrestle control of Maybourne from McKillen by acquiring around 64% of Maybourne holding company Coroin through a complex investment strategy that involved buying the holding companies that owned the shares in the business rather than the shares.
McKillen responded with legal action that was quashed by the U.K. Supreme Court in 2013. He still owns the remainder of Maybourne, although his interest is partly controlled by the American private equity firm Colony Capital, which holds debt against the shares.
There also is, apparently, a Dubai police investigation into alleged irregularities regarding attempts to sell Maybourne in 2011, with Arabianbusiness.com saying that one (court) action ongoing in London, three in Dublin and another two due to commence in the Irish capital in the coming weeks.
Producer, please schedule six-hour-long slots in prime time.
TV is safer
The “real” documentary, not my fantasy one, was enjoyable and also tender. Rock stars predominated, although the cameras never saw them and no identities were given, as would be expected for a hotel of such flawless repute.
One mystery female pop star booked an £8,000- ($12,066-) per-night penthouse suite for a month, and GM Thomas Kochs was seen deliberating on how to correctly address one guest, U2’s guitarist The Edge, on his welcome card.
“Dear Mr. The Edge?” he queried.
“Our rock stars are very well behaved,” Kochs told the camera.
We also learned several other things about the hotel. For starters, that a spaniel called Sammy suffered depression if staying in London for more than one night, that is, until he came to Claridge’s, where he has now stayed numerous times and has his own bowl. Also, a Middle Eastern royal family booked an entire floor, but arrived two days late (I did not learn how that was billed, if it was). And finally, that an artist in residence, David Downton, stayed in the hotel for 52 days during the year of filming (perhaps still does) sketching guests and the property.
One Californian woman who has been a recurring guest at the hotel more than 40 years always is presented upon arrival with her own set of house keys in her capacity as “honorary night manager.”
Viewers heard they booked a suite for 16 days over a Christmas and only left the hotel twice during that time.
Perhaps most tender was the snippet of John Alves, whose title is keeper of the lift, the operator of the only remaining human-controlled elevator in London and who hails from the Atlantic Ocean, Portuguese-speaking island of Madeira.
He did not reveal the name of the mysterious pop star but did say one celebrity who took his elevator was actor Tom Cruise.
You have to create one memory that guests can take away and for them to want to return, Kochs said.
The identical Barclay twins also are known in the U.K. for owning the tiny Channel Islands island of Brecqhou. They also own one-third of its larger neighbor Sark, which bans cars and is the U.K.’s last fiefdom, run by a person with the hereditary title of seigneur. The residents and the Barclays are often at loggerheads and, perhaps related to the acrimony, the twins’ four Sark hotels have either closed or will shut this year.
In another twist, McKillen co-owns Dublin’s Clarence Hotel with U2’s The Edge and Bono.
If all that doesn’t sound like another Reality TV show just waiting to happen, I don’t know what does.
Email Terence Baker or find him on Twitter.
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