Typically, the word “vibes” is used unseriously to refer to intangible, possibly imaginary aspects of non-verbal interpersonal communication. However, research conducted by the HeartMath Institute lends credence to the concept that a calm, compassionate, positive “energy field” can be radiated and thus conveyed to others in close proximity.
Increasingly, I’ve been covering the concept of hospitality vibes as being foundational for helping our hotel training workshop clients create guest loyalty that stands out from competitors in the “room rental business.” While others market and deliver a guest room as if it were a commodity like sugar, oil or grain, hotel teams focused on hospitality vibes create emotional connections and heartfelt guest experiences that lead guests to return and post positively on AI-sourced social channels.
Recently, however, I have come to realize that a lot of people are coming into the workplace lacking the social engagement skills to intentionally communicate the energy, emotions and “vibes” that originate from the vagus nerve that controls our social engagement system. Certainly, some individuals seem to be born with the innate abilities and natural talents of communicating nonverbally, but I strongly believe hospitality training can create awareness and nurture the use of these skills.
Here are a few topics from our hospitality training workshops and webcasts to share with your frontline service providers during your standup meetings that will help them intentionally communicate the vibe of hospitality.
Proxemics
Proxemics is the study of how distance and personal space communicate meaning. Standing closer indicates friendliness or comfort. Keeping a greater distance shows formality and respect. Increasing distance while you are speaking to someone signals discomfort.
In the U.S., hoteliers often train their staff about the “10-4 Rule,” reminding us to acknowledge others when we are 10 feet away and greet when you reach 4 feet. Or for the Metric world, the “3 - 1 Rule.” Yet we also need to train employees on the nuances of personal space and distance once conversations are initiated.
For example, when first addressing a guest, 4 feet is usually the comfortable social distance. However, staff should move closer into a guest’s personal space, typically 2.5 to 3.5 feet, once rapport is established. Staff can always stand closer when conversing with familiar, repeat guests to help “regulars” feel at home as a good hotel should do.
Kinesics
Kinesics is the study and interpretation of nonverbal communication. Holding eye contact for three to four seconds usually initiates a shared smile. Standing straight indicates that you are fully present, attentive and conveys a readiness to respond. It also shows respect and conveys confidence. Leaning in communicates attentiveness, while leaning away shares disbelief or disagreement.
The way we hold our arms and hands can send vastly different signals. Traditionally, it has been said that crossing one’s arms indicates defensiveness, yet when combined with a smile, and done while standing in “personal space” distance, it can actually communicate attentive presence.
Likewise, a “hands on hip” stance is often said to communicate aggressiveness, yet when done with a smile while leaning back can communicate surprise or even happiness.
Of course, pointing directly at a guest with one finger is never appropriate, but pointing one finger in the air while smiling may reinforce messages like “I have the perfect, special recommendation for you!”
Remind your staff that silent communications skills, such as proxemics and kinesics speak quite loudly!
Vocalics
Vocalics refers to the elements of human speech communications — beyond the actual spoken words — that strongly convey the intended emotional meaning. Put simply, how something is said versus what is said.
For example, using a higher “pitch” or frequency may communicate disbelief or uncertainty. Speaking at a louder volume indicates anger or frustration, while speaking more softly indicates intimacy. Speaking at a faster tempo or pace may indicate frustration or annoyance. It may also express nervousness or stress, while speaking more slowly may indicate seriousness.
It is often said that “90% of communications is non-verbal.” After considering vocalics, proxemics and kinetics, it might be better said 50% of the message is non-verbal, 25% vocalics, and 25% our actual choice of words.
Listening
Finally, I always train hotel staff to be “loud listeners,” which is to communicate that you are listening actively by interjecting comments such as “Amazing,” “Wow,” “Super,” or “That’s wonderful.” Our training also encourages “loop-it-back” listening, which is to paraphrase and restate what the speaker has just said, then pause to allow time for them to share additional details and therefore reveal their “full story.”
It is important to not only share these concepts during your training meetings or pre-shift line-ups, but also to have colleagues practice them during role-plays and then receive feedback. Leaders, especially, must use these consistently as an example.
By focusing on hospitality as a vibe and these methods for intentional hospitality communications, your team can go beyond the “guest service politeness scripting” and truly make guests feel warmly welcomed.
This is not just a kind gesture for the strangers we call guests. It is also the single most important way to stand out from other hotels in your competitive set who are selling similar rooms with similar amenities — and with revenue management systems powered by the same data feeds — at the same price as yours.
Doug Kennedy is president of the Kennedy Training Network, Inc. Contact him at doug@kennedytrainingnetwork.com.
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